Blink of an Eye

I was born a golden china doll,
least that’s what everyone
taught me to be
she sang I was her only sunshine
made her happy when skies are gray
over and over
until I could smile through the pain
I learned how to close my eyes one day
where I lived more awake
I took spaceships to other worlds
I understood more fully than me
counting down the days

Every sunrise I’d wake like an internal clockwork
to the echoing songs
the birds would line the walls of the parking lot below with
I was frozen and sore
but with my eyes closed
I knew
a vivid world of feathered creatures
had come to give me the wings I prayed for

As a grown child
in adult clothing
I find myself shedding
the life of a careless past
the person I’ve pushed aside inside
is starting to bloom
because I’m untangling their darkness
& have crossed paths with a glow that exists.
So I line my insides with him
like the beautiful chirps that did below my window
so when my eyes go dark
a kaleidoscope daydream
of another world I built
that we explore with endless wonder and childlike curiosity.
I’ve painted towns with our charisma
crumbled mountain ridges with our laughter
put out fires with the tears he’ll never share with me
because I’m afraid,
it’s not rejection I fear.
It’s grasping the splendor of my universe
I tuck hidden from him behind a worn-down wink
and losing all the wonder
to a line drawn in the sand.

© Photo by Alison Scarpulla


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